Portrait Of A Seeker Of Essence: T29 - Romance

Portrait Of A Seeker Of Essence

Blog for the novel, "Portrait Of A Seeker Of Essence," which is about a few years in the life of a musician and his personal and spiritual changes. The novel can be read at www.portraitofaseekerofessence.name. Please feel free to post comments on a chapter by chapter basis, before you've finished reading the entire novel. Please use reasonable language. Thanks - Russell Kolish, Author - Click on the lowest thread title on the left and ten additional titles will come up.

Monday

T29 - Romance - C 8

It sure is complicated. You have to consider the expectations of each of the persons involved. And what about the personalities? Some just don't fit. What of unrequited love? This is the most painful sensation I've ever experienced in life because when it happens it seems to never end. For me, it feels like my life is being sucked out of me. I have trouble breathing and anxieties flood every corner of my being. I hate it. When it happens (rarely, thank God) I'm unable to break away from it even though I know that it can only end in disaster. It's as though it has a life of its own and it's through me that it has to live until it decides to go away. Then I'm devastated (even though the devastation has been going on for some time) and I am released. Unfortunately this is NOT orgasmic.

Sometimes you're lucky. You find someone of more or less equal romantic status, that is, they care for you at more or less the same level that you care for them. This is the best arrangement. Maybe it lacks the drama of those other experiences but at least it feels sane. Comfortable. It requires active work, participating in a relationship to keep it reasonably in perspective in your own mind and the mind of the other person(s) involved. It's longer lasting. These relationships can also break up but if it happens at least you can go ahead with your life without being devastated again because it worked better to begin with.

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...: Sandy from LA

Romance. What is it? I think the word comes from old French and it might mean having to do with death. But, you know, the French love to make everything into a soap opera.

So, it’s a warm, cuddly, comforting feeling of closeness. Who’s got time for it? How do you put yourself in the mood? By the time you’ve set up the environment, whether it’s in public or private, and said all the right things to make someone else feel comfortable, safe and cared for, you’ve got to run. Today’s pace and complicated concerns put all sorts of obstacles in the way. You’re lucky if you have one day a week when your mind isn’t racing or you have fewer than ten tasks to accomplish. Saturdays are shot because you have to do all the things you couldn’t do Monday to Friday. Sunday is ‘hospital’ day. Try to recuperate so you can do it all again on Monday. My Wife and I make an appointment for Sunday night at 8:00 PM. Come hell or high water we show up, try to relax and get to it as best we can. If we’re successful two hours later we’re relaxed and having a few laughs. Sometimes one of us or both of us are not successful and the appointment is incomplete except for our mutual willingness which we recognize as ‘Good try!’ And we don’t even have kids!; 1:42 AM