T19 - Essence - C 5
Essence is an ethereal and ephemeral thing. I ask myself 'Who am I?' 'What am I?' Sometimes I can answer those questions but every time I have more than a minute or two to really concentrate and delve into them I lose it. I lose the feeling or the knowledge of whatever insight I thought I had. My comprehension slips away as my thoughts become more and more insubstantial until I'm left with..... I don't know what. It's frustrating so I leave it for another time.
posted by Russ | 12:48 AM
2 Comments:
Gary from Anchorage
From Gableplunk: Essence: fundamental nature or quality. A substance distilled or extracted from another substance and having the special qualities of the original substance. Perfume.
Gableplunk, in “Portrait Of A Seeker Of Essence,” is seeking his fundamental nature. He doesn’t quite know that essence is what he’s looking for but life, his behavior and his thinking process lead him in that direction.
When we have the time to think about it we find that our essence is something that eludes us. It’s even hard to define because it’s so subtle. It helps to use the above definition(s) as reference points.
How did I characterize my essence? First I asked myself, ‘ Self, what are my characteristics? What characterizes my personality? How am I different from others? How am I the same?’ Then I made a list so I’d have my description down in front of me on paper as I took the next steps.
Then I asked, ‘Is there a theme running through all the words I wrote down? What did the theme(s) imply?’ They revealed my desires, likes and dislikes, my views/attitudes. I was getting closer.
Soon I was able to say, ‘This is who I am.’ But was this all there was to me? This question led me to examine everything I knew about spirituality and it brought me a little closer.
Then I incorporated most of the other facts and ideas that I believed I knew (which wasn’t much). So I had a bundle of stuff: desires, like and dislikes, attitudes, spirituality, knowledge, which presented me with a general picture of myself but it still wasn’t enough. I had to add yet another element to the mix: resolution, resolution of all the conflicts I had, emotional through psychology, spiritual by relating myself to the world and universe around me and what I knew or had heard about it, even physically down to the molecular and atomic levels. Once I added resolution to the picture I felt very close. One day it dawned on me that I might never be able to fully describe my essence because it might be beyond language, however, I COULD experience it quite handily simply by opening my mind to it, letting my essence supplant my mind and suffuse my spirit. It was then that I discovered my essence: it was (and still is) the act of letting go of all mental and emotional constructs. It’s not the letting go itself, not the empty mindedness of Zen although I could make a case for that, too, but it’s the ACT itself. The sheer power of being able. I think that power IS ‘to be able.’ So my essence is my power, in life, in mind, in feeling (like an artist). To allow myself to be filled with this power enables me to be and become all that I can be. Becoming one with this power until its scent oozes from my pores I become at once myself and my essence.
Sounds like a participant’s preparation for a martial arts contest or a warrior’s self hype prior to danger but it isn’t. It’s just me, Clark Kent on crack.
This certainly enabled me to make a few changes in my life and direct myself with more strength and elan and savoir faire. I still follow my essence and allow it to lead me. When I divert from this I am dissatisfied and try to get myself back on track as soon as possible. It’s very nice. I can even share it with others.
Russ
My essence is best expressed as my meditative power to leave everything behind me even as I am doing everyday things. I don’t go into a trance or look pop-eyed with the meditation look. I just empty my mind. I can do it with the simple flip of a mental switch now after years of practice. The sensation I get is that of being in the midst of all things without the need to consider them.
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