T12 - Lost Friends - C 4
When I was in school I had a lot of friends. Now that I've been out and working every one of them are gone. Moved to another city, another job, or with a different crowd or just no longer able to get along because of different thoughts, values or politics. I meet new people all the time and make some new friends here and there but somehow it's not the same. My new friendships are more superficial, less demanding, almost as if everyone is a 'ship passing in the night,' able to be communicated with for a brief time and then disappearing. I'm guessing that a lot of these people are feeling the same way that I do. I wonder where this phenomenon is leading me?
posted by Russ | 1:26 AM
1 Comments:
Eric from Montreal
What’s the nature of friendship? Familiarity with respect or affection for another person in a specific and limited space-time. When that environment changes, friendships loosen, attachments break down and people drift towards other environs and new interests. Friendship is temporary, like everything else. People get their first tastes of mortality after high school when friendships dissolve, not because of enmity but change.
Mutual interest and involvement with an idea or activity and sharing of an experience can bring people together enough that familiarity deepens but what happens when that environment changes? Did you have enough time to get to like each other enough to want each other’s company under other circumstances? It’s unpredictable.
And what about friendships dependent on groups? Groups are great places to find friends but then there are group pressures. Sometimes you can float around for years without finding a comfortable and stimulating friend, skipping from place to place, seeking... whatever.... but not connecting and then out of the blue someone pops up. Someone interesting and satisfying. I don’t mean a mate, although in Australia friends are called ‘mates.’ Someone who finds you interesting, too. So, there’s always hope. A new friend is around the corner. Finding friendships is like dating or auditioning for a band. You keep at it because you have no choice. We’re social.
On the other hand you can just drift lightly, like a cloud, seeking and finding no place to attach. For the most part finding friendships is really out of your control. It’s just good fortune when you do. Desperation always works against you because it makes you act funny. Avoid it like the plague.
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